We took two buses from Hanoi to Hoi An. Each had its own special quirk. One bus had beds instead of seats. The other bus didn't work.
Hoi An is an ocean city packed with textile shops. You can pretty much walk into any building and demand a custom suit that fits better than your skin, all for about 70 bucks. Also, the show China Beach took place right around here. The only real interesting thing about our time here was the food we ate. Total stomach boner. But we had to work at finding the good stuff.
This brings me to something Chris and I call the "Don't Bullshit Me." If you prove you're hardcore, people won't try to hard sell you on Oakleys, Zippos, and T-shirts that say "Good Morning, Vietnam!" (seriously, pretty f'd). We've been flexing the Don't Bullshit Me by chewing on super hot chilis, sporting authentic, painful sunburns, and eating food we can't recognize in dodgy, poorly lit places. It seems to work.
Confession: I did buy some Dolce & Grabana [sic] shades. Couldn't help myself. I think they actually amplify sunlight. My pupils are sunburnt. I can see the future.